Homeward Bound Sitting Next to the Devil Child 4/5/11

Up early as hell again and headed to Hong Kong. We had an 8 hour layover so we left the airport and took the super easy MTR to the city. I had all I could take in the same 4 day old clothes so I went shopping- sort of. I could barely walk since I had 3 blisters on my feet- under them I should say. I sucked up the pain and purchased some light pants to cover up my horrendous legs and long sleeves since it was a little chilly. I ended up losing Andy and chilled in the city park by the botanical gardens for a bit. It's interesting that tons of Filipino women sit in the walkway overpasses in Hong Kong. They all pull out cardboard boxes and sing, pray, knit, dance, and talk.

Andy and I didn't get to sit next to each other on the 12 hour flight home since we got the last two tickets to Vancouver. I was watching the people board the plane wondering who I was going to sit next to. I had a fucking center seat so I knew it wasn't going to be good. I saw a lady with a child and though, wouldn't it be funny if I ended up next to her? Well of course I did! This kid cried, pulled my hair, and I just gave it dirty looks hoping I would scare it and it would leave me alone. It didn't and it's mom thought she could change his diaper in the seat and use my tray table as her own. Not what I was willing to put up with at that point in the trip. Thank god I paid a ton of $$ for cheap headphone just so I could watch 5 movies. The sleeping pills and Xanax we had on the way out were in my backpack that I no longer had possession of so I slept for maybe 2 hours. I got my movie fix in though. The flight to SFO was delayed an hour- super- but we finally made it home and it felt awesome.

Bangkok is an Awesome City 4/4/11

Up at the ass crack of dawn and Andy is bargaining for a taxi ride to the airport. I wasn't in the mood and we ended up getting a taxi for the same price we could have had with one we reserved. Oh well, it's part of the experience right? Off to Bangkok for the lastish leg of the tour.

Bangkok is amazing. We dropped off our stuff (well Andy's stuff) at the hotel La Residence and took a fabulous shower then headed out to see what we could see. We took a boat ride down the Chao Praya to West of the city. We first hit up the largest reclining Buddha in the world- it was a short visit since I was pretty much done with temples. I did however participate in putting a coin in the line of bowls along the Buddha for good luck. Two of the coins dropped on the floor- think that says something about me?

We then walked through the flower, vegetable, and electronics market where Andy was in heaven. We saw fish drying in the sun and other fabulous smells.

We finally hit up the street food. We had pork soup with shrimp balls, meat on a stick with sticky rice, little pastry-type things with coconut, fried plantains, and lots of water. My feet were killing me since I was walking around in flip-flops made of leather and it was crazy humid out. I took one for my man and walked back to the electronics market so he could get his cheap LED lights- bulbs and a waterproof roll.

We were so tired so we headed back to the hotel for a quick shower before dinner. Dinner consisted of an app of leaves wrapped around peanuts/shrimp/spices, Phad Thai, and crab fried rice. I love Thai food. We then headed to the night market which no longer existed unfortunately. There went my chance for new clean clothes.

I tried to bargain at the local market but the hawkers acted like their stuff wasn't cheap! I couldn't believe foreigners have paid sooo much over the years hawkers won't even give you a real price. I told some chick I would pay her ~$2 for cheap ass flip-flops. She said are you kidding? They are blah-blah brand. I said do you think I'm stupid? Look at this flaw! She took them out of my hand and I was done with bargaining. It was time for bed for another early flight to Hong Kong. The trip was sadly coming to an end.

The Russian Mafia Doesn't Respect Sea Turtles 4/3/11

Today we did 3 dives before we left early afternoon. The morning dive was nice way to wake up. While we ate breakfast the Russian Mafia decided to go swimming with the sea turtle. At first they fed the turtle bananas from the boat which apparently happens often and is OK by the dive crew. Then they decided to jump in and catch a ride with the poor animal. One of the DM's started yelling at them telling them to stop touching the animal. They did for a bit but started riding it again. This pissed off the DM chick so bad she was yelling telling them to get out of the water. Of course they knew they what they were doing. Clinton asked of the Russian girls to tell them to stop. She just shook her head and then turned away and said nothing. Unfuckingbelievable. They finally got out but not because anyone told them to. I was hoping the turtle would bite the shit out of him. The dives were fun, but my back kept cramping while I was diving which caused me so much pain I was ready to be done.

We got back to the dock sans my backpack (did I mention I got a free T-shirt because of it? wow) and the van took us back to Patong. We only went there because we have an early flight to Bangkok. We found a hotel for 800 Bhat and took a wonderful shower (although I had to get back into the same dirty clothes) before heading out to dinner. For dinner went went to a small street where I had more delicious Thai food. We were tired but happy to be on land. We did a quick walk around to see the dirty men with their Thai girls, dirty boys with their Thai girls, and dirty boys with their Thai boys. Good times were had by some that night.

And Then There Was One Backpack 4/2/11

Woke up at 630 so I could try to get online to talk to Harriet. It didn’t work so I called instead, we had some coffee from 7-11, and waited for the minibus to arrive. While we waited for a breakfast place to open, there was a stray dog hanging out with us- super friendly. We caught the minibus to the harbor where the Thai Navy resides and we caught a speed boat to the dive boat. We immediately did our first dive. The visibility wasn’t the best but it was still beautiful. All the fish and plant life were amazing. We eventually noticed my backpack wasn’t in the same area as Andy’s, but didn’t make a big deal about it until it was time for us to go to our rooms and my bag was nowhere to be found. How does that even happen? Am I the only person who never got theirs back? This system has always worked for them in the past? Andy even asked the guys at the harbor if we should carry our bags on board- they said no they’ve got it. Our dive master (Clinton- hot 25 Aussie with dreads) said it’s either on the speedboat taking the people back to the harbor (which I didn’t think it was) or on the other boat which was going to heading north later that day. It wasn’t a big deal until we found out the boat had already left and my bag wasn’t going to be back until Monday evening (and we are heading to Bangkok that morning). I wasn’t freaking out, but we told them they needed to ship my bag back to the US since we were leaving in a couple days. The tour leader Adam didn’t act like the owner of the company was going to ship my bag back, not like there’s any other possible solution. Anyways, we did a night dive which was very cool. I love night dives, I feel like I'm in outer space (whatever that might feel like). All the animals in the ocean were sleeping but it was still a cool experience. In all we did 4 dives and they were all pretty amazing.

Sleeping in the boat sucked. Andy passed out as soon as he hit the bed like he usually does- in the other twin bed. My legs were itching so much I couldn't stop scratching. The boat was rocking back and forth so my feet and head took turns going up and down. To make things better, someone left the door open upstairs so it slammed each time the boat moved- for hours and hours. My back hurt, I barely slept. Tomorrow is another day and I'll be sleeping on land.

Second Hangover and I'm in a Crowded Bus 4/1/11

Woke up at 830 to catch the first longtail back to Ao Nang. We had to wait a bit for enough people to show up so the longtail would leave. It was me, Andy, a chick from the US who had been working in Tonsai for a bit, an old hippie British dude, then two girls from SF. One of the girls was not happy because “someone” told them to show up at 9 to catch a ferry to Phi Phi. The local gals said sorry, there’s no ferry to Phi Phi so tuff luck. The girl from SF refused to believe her and they debated the situation for a bit- the SF girl was a huge bitch and wouldn’t shut up- arguing with the longtail drivers.

We hit Ao Nang and took the local minibus for 50 Bhat to Krabi and went directly to the bus station vs 500 Bhat the other dudes were trying to sell us. At the bus station we took a bus to Khao Lak with a quick layover in Koh Koi (a small town) where we waiting along the road for the bus to Khao Lak. I was a bit hung over and the bus ride didn’t help. The first bus Andy sat in the aisle and I sat on the staircase while we listened to terrible Thai music. For some reason all the songs are about a bad relationship, a guy cheating on a girl, or a girl getting into a car accident and the dude cheating on her. I was about to lose my shit and then we hit the second bus which was not much better. We stood for a bit smashed between Tahi Navy and Army dudes. Then I sat the rest of the way with my ass half off the seat which didn’t feel good.

We finally made it to Khao Lak, hungover and hungry. We walked down a road where we found a decent hotel for 700 Bhat. We took a much needed shower and headed out for food. We had Pad Thai, spring rolls, and cashew chicken- delish! We walked around the town, bought some fruit, walked down along the beach, back up through an amazing resort, then had dinner which consisted of Tom Yum soup and pizza. I was exhausted (after seeing a fat German dude with his shirt unbuttoned having dinner with a Tahi woman) and learning about my Grandpa’s passing away from Harriet’s email. We called it a night to get ready for our scuba trip the next morning.

Fearing Death and Other Good Times at the Backpacker Bungalows 3/31/11

Woke up in Phi Phi and headed for the ferry to get off the island. I love it how no one really knows if there's a ferry or not. Two out of three for yes so we're going for it.

We took a ferry to Krabi, met two gals from Canada and a dude who burned the shit out of himself. He was really red after laying out for 20 minutes, I can't imagine what kind of damage he did to himself. We then took a minibus to Ao Nang which led to a longtail

to Railay and finally another longtail to Tonsai (a rock climbing community). Railay and Tonsai are on the same island but a cliff (when the tide is in)/sharp rocks (when the tide is out) separate the two. I wasn't quite ready for that hike so we took the easy route while we could.

It was dumping rain (42 inches in two days) so we had a beer and decided to stay in Tonsai for 200 Bhat where we stayed in a bungalow with only a thin mattress and a mosquito net. We then walked over to Railay and I hurt my foot on the razor-sharp rocks. I told Andy I didn't want to walk back after dinner- he said sure we’ll take a longtail back. We had fried mushrooms and chicken satay and beers for apps then continued to dinner where we had a fresh seafood dinner- several tiger prawns, clams (Venus Shells), and seabass. The seafood was good but for some reason the apps were better. Maybe all the fried food I had been eating lately?? Walking back after dinner,

there were no taxis so we had to hoof it. As we were walking back to Tonsai, we saw a local who was also walking back with his son. He asked Tonsai? We said yes and were very happy to have a guide. He asked if we had a light and luckily Andy’s camera had a semi-light- an LED feature used for macro shots. We didn’t go the ocean route as it’s very dangerous to cross the high tide against those extremely sharp rocks. Instead he took us up and over. Up as in scaling large slippery rock in the dark, hardly knowing what I was putting my hand on unless Andy was illuminating my way- which he did very well because he knew I would kill him. It was pretty hairy. When the son paused up ahead I knew we were in for a treat. I thought we were in the clear and then we hit a waterfall. We had to shimmy down a crack and across a waterfall and slippery rocks in the dark. After we walked across the “beach” against the rocks because of high tide, we had to cross a “river” over a log. All was well once again.

We stopped at the first bar we found as we needed a drink ASAP. I kicked Andy's ass at some Connect 4. The bar was playing reggae and we hung out with two Americas (she was from VA and he was from TX) who were both teaching English in Bangkok. They were cool, we drank and I played with the tennis balls on a string thing. I did OK- no major damage; Andy on the other hand was doing well until he smacked himself in the throat (which I unfortunately missed) and that was it for him. We had Thai whiskey shots (not too bad) and Andy beat the Tonsai Jenga champion. During the first game the dude asked Andy if he knew architecture taunting him- the second game they played very well, the tower was tall, then Andy won. We smoked in one of the local’s bungalow. The girl spoke a little Thai so she and the local hit it off. She had a spliff and then the local unwrapped it so we could smoke out of his bong. She tried to tell him there was already tobacco in it, but it apparently didn’t believe her because he put more tobacco in it. I could not take a huge bong hit of tobacco- it was small but I still got a buzz. We went to bed around midnight. The bugs were out in full force making the loudest fucking noise I’ve heard in nature. They didn’t stop all night. It was a little hard to sleep but I was exhausted from travelling and our little adventures.

Puffer Fish & Fire Ants

The weather decided to give us a break today but not let us off the island. Since we weren't able to leave, we made the best of it and went on a scuba excursion- my first warm water and boat dive. Since I've only been diving in Monterey, it was hard for me to believe an ocean could be warm, especially only in a shortie. We headed out over the huge waves and made our first dive where there was an artificial reef. It was so warm and beautiful! We saw puffer fish, lion fish, blue spotted porcupine fish, little Nemo's, and scorpion fish. On our way to the next dive the ocean was really kickin and these two girls on the boat with us got sick. Andy and I pulled through and dove the second dive- little visibility but it was still very cool- the Tsunami Memorial site. Our Belgium Dive Master Jan was cool, traveling the world by diving- not a bad way to live.

We headed back to Koh Phi Phi and took a journey to find the vista point. Along the way Andy met a new friend, a kitty with a fucked up tail (all cats here have fucked up tails). This cat was so little (smaller than Little Kitty and louder than her too) and wouldn't leave Andy alone. She followed right behind in for 30 ft or so. If it was possible Andy would have take her home with us.

We continued on our journey for the vista point. We knew we were going the wrong way but we were heading up so we figured it was in the same vicinity at least. Andy led the way and I followed behind in my flip-flops and skirt. What was a path turned into a trail. When I say trail I mean at some point in time a couple humans/animals did walk on this path. It was not easy, and the mosquitoes and fire ants loved my legs- those bastards hurt! Up we continued, I took the lead until a black small animal scurried off slowly and scared the shit out of me. We're in the jungle here people. Andy took the lead back and I announced I was going to hate him in 15 minutes. Just in time we hit a larger trail. When I say larger trail I mean one that I'm not

fighting shrubs and stinging insects. We hit a vista point- not the vista point- but ours was much better because we were the only ones there. You could see all the way to Koh Lanta and the mainland. We drank Singha's, ate Pringles, and made our way back (the easy way) to find a hotel since the only ferries leaving the island were for Phuket.

The day was long and full of adventure. We ate some more pizza and pineapple with the sugar/spice rub and went to bed. Ready for another island tomorrow- hopefully we can get out of here.